what the quran says about listening to parents
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"O flesh! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of God is (he who is) the about righteous of you. And God has total knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things)." 49:thirteen.
Salaam Brothers and Sisters,
There is something that is bothering me a lot. I love my parents so much but they are very closed-minded to interracial marriages.
When I had conversation with my cousin (we were not alone, my mother was with us while we were conversing), he has told me that my sis & I are supposed to always please our parents. That pleasing our parents is pleasing God. He has also said that the only time we are non supposed to listen to our parents is if they want us to commit shirk.
I do non understand this because he said that if our parents do non want usa to become married to someone of a different race we are supposed to listen to them and please them? I know that Islam is not a racist religion. Everyone from every race can exist Muslim.
I also gave an case as if our parents have asked us to let'south say eat pork would we listen to them instead of Allah? He said no because Allah has conspicuously said in the Quran non to eat pork simply he did not say in the Quran that you tin can marry someone from a dissimilar race. And then I got fifty-fifty more confused because he said before that you can listen to your parents with everything they say except for doing shirk and then wouldn't it exist okay, co-ordinate to him, to swallow pork because we wouldn't be committing shirk by doing that? Wouldn't listening to them instead of Allah be considered shirk because yous are taking their word to a higher place His?
Don't go me wrong, I respect my parents and I wish for forcefulness to be able to delight them the best mode possible but sometimes I just feel similar they choice and choose what they want to follow. I am not going to say anything bad most them considering I honey them but sometimes it just feels like they are making life harder than it is because they dear their civilization too.
My sister wants to get married and she has a good Muslim on her listen only is agape that our parents would never accept. Mom kind of accepts the idea only thinks it is extremely weird. She completely is against people not existence able to ally someone in the aforementioned country but dissimilar districts but thinks it is unnatural for someone to marry someone else from another country. She says that Allah created different people in different areas and always says "People get married to their race all the time why are yous guys so unlike?"
This hurts united states a lot because nosotros first to feel weird and wonder if something really is wrong with u.s.a.. Nosotros just feel the opposite and think its weird to marry someone But considering they are of the same race every bit us, we do not care if he is of the same race just has a skillful personality, practicing Muslim, etc..
Mom has been telling us about one of our cousin who she thinks likes a guy because he is of our race ONLY. We were shocked and told her that she loves him because of the person he is and non because of his race. If he was black, white, asian, spanish, etc. she would dear him just the same, simply fifty-fifty then my cousin's parent's disapprove of him even though he is the aforementioned race as us! Please requite dua for her to get married to a good husband.
Dad is completely against it. He doesn't even desire to hear about it. Nosotros have to discuss this in secret so he won't get mad at u.s.. My mom once asked him hypothetically if he would ever allow us marry someone outside our race and he said "Don't even talk about information technology, never bring that upward again."
My sister is very upset. She doesn't know if she should surrender and only permit our parents decide her married man even if she doesn't like him because anybody keeps saying that no good religious man would desire to be with her because "she isn't much religious herself". She is religious but doesn't wear the hijab still (which she inshAllah wishes to vesture very soon) and she wants to become married very soon so she tin can become to Hajj inshAllah considering our male parent is sick & we don't take much money.
We just desire to know, when is our limit to obeying our parents? Is it when information technology goes confronting Allah'due south police meaning all of it or just shirk only?
Please give dua for us to accept our parent's soften their hearts and all our Muslim brothers and sisters that are going through this. I know many people are going through it and that many had to give up good potential spouses just because they were not of the aforementioned race. We don't want to go against our parents but we likewise definitely do not desire to go against Allah. Nosotros just feel that it is wrong that even though the person is pious, good mannered, sweet, good personality, etc. that we take to reject him/her just because they are different. Nosotros dear all races including our own just nowadays it is pretty difficult to find a good spouse in our customs, we want to broaden our search.
My sis just had to reject a human being that our cousin knows well and thinks was a very good man (fasting, praying, etc.) because she had seen a motion picture of him next to a daughter wearing a tube dress on facebook. She didn't want to gauge him based on that but she didn't want to take whatsoever chances of getting injure again. Request for a pious man fabricated them give us looks as if information technology were going to be impossible to discover. We did not listen if they institute someone who were good for us but there would always be something wrong so we decided to await ourselves merely every time we would notice someone they would not accept considering of the race result. I just wish we found someone that nosotros all accept but information technology just never works out that way & my sister really wants to marry this man.
Is it true that pleasing your parents pleases Allah? My cousin said it in a way that only by pleasing them you will please Allah. I don't empathise how that works out considering and then it would hateful that Allah would depend on our parents pleasure which I knew was wrong right away because Allah does not depend on anyone or anything. He is independent of all needs. Plus we can please Him in many other ways every bit well such as fasting, etc. not simply pleasing our parents (although that does not mean we shouldn't).
What are our limits? How are we supposed to react when our parents are upset? Should we but give in and surrender, would it be a adept idea even though we know it is wrong(the racism)? Please give u.s. some advice and I hope this helps someone else going through this know that they are non alone. Please note that I am open to advice on both sides, giving upwardly for your parents or doing what yous want to exercise (just still non destroying relations). Thanks then much for all of your help.
~ Strawberryfields
Source: https://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/do-i-have-to-listen-to-parents/
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